RWBY Abridged
by TheOtaku4
Summary: So there is only one RWBY Abridged series on Youtube, and only a few parodies. This is just something that could give an idea to future Abridged series or anything else. Anyways, enjoy. :)
1. Chapter 1

RWBY Abridged

A/N: So I've only seen one RWBY Abridged series on Youtube and a few Humor Tangents and Parodies, but I guess there aren't going to be any abridged stuff until RWBY gets more episodes, which it will. Friendly advice: watch or re-watch the episode(s) before reading so some parts can make more sense. Hope you guys enjoy. :)

Episode 1

Intro: Long story short: There are monsters called grimm, they are afraid of stuff called dust, the world runs on dust, and people are trying to steal it. Oh yeah, there are also hunters and huntresses, but we'll get to that later.

Roman Torchwick and his gang go to a dust shop to steal the dust.

"Who are you?" said the shopkeeper.

"I'm The Riddler. Can't you tell?" Torchwick said.

"What are you doing here? It's not Gotham."

"I ask the questions here. Now where is the dust? Oh screw it just get it henchmen."

One of the henchmen is about to get some dust, until he hears dubstep music.

"Who the hell is playing dubstep?" He said and looks over to where Ruby is standing. He pulls down her hood and she looks at him. "Shouldn't you be at grandma's house?"

"Say what?" Ruby said taking off the headphones.

"I said shouldn't you be at your grandma's house? Or eaten by a wolf?"

"Are you making fun of me because of my red hood?"

"Yeah."

Roman looks at the dust, then sees his henchmen fly right past him.

"Oh great. It's the Batman. Get rid of him."

Ruby then fights the henchmen, getting their attention.

"Ok that's a good riddle. Super Girl or the Red Hood? Either way get her."

As they fight Ruby (insert cliche ku-fu fight sounds here). Ruby emerges victorious and looks at Roman.

"Riddle me this: What's red, also, red, and red all over? This!" Roman shoots a red fireball at Ruby, who wears a red hood, and was attempting to kill her where there will be (red) blood. But Ruby dodges and Roman escapes onto his airship. "Get to the choppa!" He yelled, and starts shooting Ruby while laughing maniacally. "Wait what's that?"

"Here I am to save the day." Said Glenda Goodwitch who appeared to assist Ruby.

"Oh shit it's a witch from The Ministry of Magic." Roman said to Cinder, his accomplice.

"I'll handle it." She said and readies her fire magic. "You shall not pass!" She yelled. And a ball of fire happens and they escape. After a moment of silence, Glenda looks at Ruby.

"Your from The Ministry of Magic... DO YOU KNOW HARRY POTTER?!" And then Ruby is in the interrogation room.

"Do you know what you just did!" Glenda said. "There are two options, to let you go..." Ruby smiles hoping for that. "Or kill you." Glenda slammed her whip stick on the table scaring Ruby. "But there is someone that wants to talk to you." Professor Ozpin shows up and sits down.

"Hello. Do you know who I am?" Ozpin said.

"Wash from Red vs. Blue?" Ruby said.

"Do you know who I 'really' am?"

"Professor Ozpin, right?"

"Yes. Look let's cut to the chase. Your moves are good, you can fight, and you are completely moe. You are perfect for attending Beacon Academy. Do you want to go to my school."

"Oh hell yeah, I'll be like-" Ruby does her kun-fu moves and Ozpin and Glenda are not impressed.

"Well you seem like you can try. But can you do anything in particular to prove that you are Beacon material?" Ozpin said.

"Want to see how animals eat their food?" Ruby said. A moment of silence and Ozpin brings out a plate of cookies. "Watch closely." Ruby said and they look at her and she eats them as they disintegrate in her mouth.

"Ok, your in." Ozpin said.

Fast forward to where Ruby and Yang are on the airship.

"Oh my God! Now we get to go to school together!" Yang said.

"Yep looks like it. Although, I don't like how they just threw us on the ship after making me eat a lot of cookies." Ruby said

"Well at least you won't be like that guy." They see Juane throwing up. Afterwards, Glenda Goodwitch appears.

"Hello everyone, blah blah blah, look here's the thing. We get to Beacon Academy, you all go the assembly. Ok." Glenda Goodwitch said as she disappears.

"Well that was very descriptive." Yang said.

"Hey look we're here." Ruby said looking out the window. "Whoa Yang, is that Hogwarts?!"

"Guess again." Yang said and they hear the "Wonderful Wizard of Oz" theme song play.

"Well that explains why he's called Professor Ozpin. And Glenda Goodwitch." Ruby said.

-End-

A/N: I know, it would be funnier if it was on Youtube with the actual scenes. But if anyone can do that, fill free to use these for material, just do an honorable mention for me. Anyways, I will work on the other ones, and I hope you like it. :)


	2. Chapter 2

RWBY Abridged

Episode 2

A/N: Watch or re-watch the episode and then read.

"Wizard of Oz" Theme Song plays as Ruby and Yang approach Beacon Academy.

"Where are the munchkins at singing the song?" Ruby said.

"There are no munchkins. It's just the background people." Yang said.

"Well then, I'll be a munchkin with ten times more moe!" Ruby changes into her chibi self and Yang tells her to stop. "Sorry got carried away."

"It's ok. Well go and make some friends."

"Wait what about you?"

"Oh my friends are here, gotta go, bye see ya later!" Yang runs off with the background characters and Ruby spends around watching them leave.

"How are you walking away without even moving?" Ruby said and fell over landing on some luggage.

"DOW! You threw off my groove!" Said a girl, which is Weiss.

"What?" Ruby said.

"My groove. It's what I call my dust." Weiss said pulling out a vile of dust and shaking it around.

"Oh I thought you were referencing some Disney- AHCHOO!" Ruby sneezed.

"I'm so going to kill you!" Weiss said.

"I'm sorry. But you don't have any burnt marks or messed up clothes from the fire." Ruby said.

"You win this round." Weiss said.

"Hey look I found some your groove." Said a girl, which is Blake.

"Well it's not like I asked for it, baka!" Weiss said and Ruby laughed.

"What the hell was that?" Blake said.

"Oh it's my tsundere impression. I'm going to be like this for the rest of the series. Or at least I get tired of it. Now give me that and watch me walk away!" Weiss said walking away after grabbing the dust from Blake.

"Wow that was actually good." Ruby said then turns to Blake.

"It sure was. I'll see you when the plot starts." Blake said walking away.

"Wait, I'm all by myself. I'M LOST!" Ruby said and fell to the ground. "If only there was someone that could help me!" Ruby looks up and sees Juane.

"Hi there, Juane Arc." Juane said holding out his hand.

"Sigh, ok you'll do." Ruby said, a little disappointed because she wanted to go with Weiss or Blake or Yang.

"So why did you help me out back there?" Ruby said as they walked.

"Well, 'I'm a MotherFather Gentleman.'" Jaune said, beginning to sing.

"Don't sing that please." Ruby said bringing out her scythe.

"Ok. By the way this is my sword and shield." Juane said showing his weapons and dropping them.

"Where's the gun?" Ruby said.

"Why does everyone ask that?" Juane said.

"Wait. Where are we?" Ruby said and they looked around. "I'M LOST AGAIN!"

-End-

A/N: Hope you liked it. By the way, that Juane thing was based of a RWBY Humor Tangent from Youtube were he actually does sing PSY's song. Anyway, review :)


	3. Chapter 3

RWBY Abridged

Episode 3

A/N: Same thing, watch or re-watch the episode. This is also short too.

Ruby and Jaune walk into the great hall.

"Do you think there are houses we will be sorted into?" Ruby said.

"I thought this was like Emerald City or something." Jaune said.

"Well I gotta go. See ya later." Ruby said walking away.

"Well there goes another one. Will I ever find a girl that actually likes me?" Jaune said.

"Hello..." Pyrrha said to herself in the background, admiring Jaune.

Ruby is back with Yang.

"So how's it going Ruby?" Yang said.

"Why am I even talking to you? You left me for dead!" Ruby said pissed off at Yang.

"Awwww. What's the matter?" Yang said.

"I was left alone and I was lost! I even exploded, but some guy tried to help me and even he didn't know what he was doing." Ruby said.

"Are you on your period again?" Yang said.

"No. Not this time. You know what, you couldn't help me. You weren't there for me. You only left me for dead. I'm never going to ask you for help again." Ruby said.

"Hey You!" Weiss said, standing behind Ruby.

"GAAAAA! HELP ME ONEE-SAMA!" Ruby cried jumping into Yang's arms.

"I still can't believe how you exploded back outside!"

"Oh My God, you are on your period." Yang said all surprised.

"Ok maybe, but I'm sorry. What's that?" Ruby said, looking at the brochure Weiss shows her.

"This is my tsudere way of giving you something helpful and to show how much of a baka you are. Take it." Weiss said.

"Look why don't you guys try to be friends?" Yang said.

"Ok. Hello Weiss. I'm Ruby. I'm the representation of Little Red Riding Hood." Ruby said holding out her hand.

"Oh My God. I'm the representation of Snow White. Now we can have our own story and that guy over there can be The Huntsman!" Weiss said pointing to Jaune.

"Whoa, really?" Ruby said and Weiss grew silent.

"Baka." Weiss said.

"I can be a good Huntsman." Jaune said to Weiss.

"Would you just get out of here." Weiss said face-palming.

"Listen up." Ozpin said as he gives his speech.

"Tomorrow you will go to the forest and fight grimm. That is all." Ozpin leaves the stage.

"Also you all will be sleeping in the Great Hall." Glenda Goodwitch said.

"Awsome." Yang said.

"I guess so." Ruby said.

"Guess we'll be-" Juane tried again.

"Get out." Weiss said face-palming again.

Later that night.

"Dear Diary, Today was crazy. -Ruby" Ruby thought while writing in her diary.

"What's ya doing?" Yang said.

"Just writing things down." Ruby said.

"Awww so cute." Yang said then Ruby throws a pillow at her.

"Ack. I'm so tired." Ruby said laying back on her sleeping bag. "Wait a second." Ruby sees Blake. "I know her, that must mean the plot is starting!"

"Then let's go!" Yang said grabbing Ruby and they walk to Blake. "Hi there!" Yang waved to Blake.

"Uhhh... the plot has not started yet." Blake said.

"Oh. Well then what the heck is all this?" Ruby said.

"Probably because 3D animation software is hard to use, rendering takes forever, and either these count as fillers, or enough time for fandom. I'm sitting here reading some facficiton which by now people are writing as the show progresses." Blake said.

"So, temporary fanservice?" Ruby said.

"Yeah." Blake said.

"Then lets try to give em what they want!" Yang said holding Ruby up.

"Wait what are you-" Ruby said and they cut to the 2D fight animation.

"Pretend this is yuri stuff." Yang said.

"What the hell are you guys doing?!" Weiss said.

"Yuri fanservice?" Ruby said.

"That's not what it's suppose to be!" Weiss said.

"Why don't you contribute then?!" Yang said.

"Maybe I will!" Weiss said.

"Ok. Then I'll set the mood." Blake said and blew out the candles.

"Ok it's too dark, so we can't do anything." Ruby said, disappointed.

-End-

A/N: So the last part was from the only Abridged video on youtube as of now. I got to admit it was funny, but here I made to where it would be funnier. Anyways review and go ahead and share some ideas for the other episodes. I'll be sure to mention you guys in the next upcoming ones if you help. Thanks :)


	4. Chapter 4

RWBY Abridged

A/N: You know, watch or re-watch the episode first. Sorry if there is mention or reference to the other Abridged or Humor tangents.

Episode 4

"'Wakey. Wakey... I don't think we have been properly introduced...' Just kidding, that was my Assassin's Creed 4 impression. Spoiler Alert!" Nora said to Ren as he wakes up. They go through the morning as Nora talks. (Bathroom scene) "So I got to say, it's been like 3 episodes and people are going to assume we are already a couple. I mean to be honest I like you, but nobody knows if you like me. (Forward to the breakfast scene) That's fine because it can attract the fans of emo characters and then you can fall in love with me. I know, lets go ahead and just be on the same team. (Locker room scene) I will hide in a tree and then I'll say Boop. That way it will be expected and before we know it, people will write fanfiction about us. Maybe some lemon in the forest and-"

"Nora." Ren said putting away his guns. "I don't think the 4th wall is going to help."

"Then let's become a couple! The fans will go wild!" Nora said.

"Ok. But don't break the 4th wall again. It confuses everyone." Ren and Nora walk out. Switch to Yang and Ruby.

"Was that Pinky Pie?" Ruby said.

"I guess so. And they are a couple." Yang said.

"Well I know my perfect match right here." Ruby pulls out Crescent Rose, her scythe, and makes awkward sounds.

"I don't think that will work. Everyone will expect you to grow up and not become intimate with your scythe/gun."

"I don't need people to tell me to grow up. I drink malk." Ruby said.

"You mean milk?" Yang said.

"Let's not go there." Ruby said.

"But it's-"

"I said! Let's not go there!"

"Ok maybe should just talk about the teams."

"Why? The title of the show gives it away. And I don't want you to leave me for dead again because I will get lost." Ruby said and Juane passes by.

"At least you got someone who knows their way around here. I'm still figuring it out." Juane said holding a map. Switch to Pyrrha and Weiss.

"So Pyrrha, what kind of team are you looking for?"

"Well I wouldn't mind if I was on the same team with a cute guy. Even if they are weak."

"Well then why don't we be on the same team to make things interesting?"

"Ok that sounds like it would get something going."

"Ok." Weiss switches to her soliloquy. "Mwahahahaha! Yes! I'm trying to be devious instead of being a tsundere. My plan is falling into place. Now no one will suspect I'm into Ruby!"

"You know... I'm still up for being The Huntsman." Juane said.

"How many times do you think that's going to work?" Weiss said.

"Well it looks like it can." Pyrrha said.

"Look your Snow White and I can be your Huntsman. Huh, what do you say?"

"Technically, she's not Snow White, but I'm named after a goddess." Pyrrha said and Juane slides over to her.

"Well... Did it hurt when you fell from Heaven?" Juane said and Weiss pushed him out of the way.

"Whoa Whoa Whoa. That line is so bad, it's no wonder your not a main character." Weiss said.

"And you are the main character?" Juane said.

"I'm the tsundere, can't you tell!" Weiss said shaking her arms.

Juane gasps like a fangirl. "Then are you one too?" He said to Pyrrha.

"Yes but I am also a model for cereal boxes. It gets confusing as it goes." Pyrrha said.

"Now that you see your not the main character, are you going to get any where with any of us?" Weiss said.

"No." Juane sighed.

"Don't worry Juane. I can be your love interest if you want." Pyrrha said.

"YES!" Juane said.

"Oh. Come on, everyone is going to ship you two anyway. Even the haters." Weiss said.

"You know there is always those that will make doujin and stuff, so..." Juane said.

"Ok Pyrrha get rid of him." Weiss said and Pyrrha throws her spear at him.

"I'm sorry." Pyrrha said.

"Try to work on your character, ok?" Weiss said to Juane walking away.

"Sorry if I'm too rough. But I really like you." Pyrrha said to Juane walking away with her spear.

"Awesome." Juane said.

"Well you got somewhere." Yang said.

"Yeah but now I can't walk." Juane said.

"Well now you aren't just a supporting character anymore." Yang said.

"I don't see how that helps considering I'm supporting him now." Ruby said helping Juane walk.

They all arrive at the cliff-side.

"Now that where here, listen up." Glenda Goodwitch said. "We are throwing you in the forest, where there is also a temple, so you can find items and you will fight grimm. Don't worry if you get killed, we have plenty of body bags."

"What?!" Ruby said.

"Also," Ozpin said. "For teams, the first one you make eye contact with, will be on your team for the rest of the school year."

"Why does that sound like a terrible romantic comedy?" Ruby said.

"Because we are an AMERICAN MADE ANIME. So anything made in said country, is based off of other stuff." Ozpin said. "Also we sending you out in the forest like in The Hunger Games, but you will be launched in the air because that would have been better instead of elevators and stuff. Any questions?"

Juane raised his hand. "Yeah. Do we-"

"Okaaayyyy. Let's get on with it." Half of everyone start flying in the air.

"Wait what are we suppose to find?" Juane said.

"Something shiny is all I can say. And watch out for the Red team." Ozpin said

"What are you talking about?" Juane said.

"Sorry. It's complicated." Ozpin said.

"Well, I guess it's time we-" Yang said and put on her sunglasses. "Flew the coop." (Instert CSI song here). They all fly and Juane screams.

"I would have said something better..." Ozpin said drinking his coffee. "Like, taking a leap of faith." (Insert CSI song here).

-End-

A/N: Ok it was hard to figure out how to work with this episode, but I'll work on the others. Fill free to share some ideas. Thanks :)


	5. Chapter 5

RWBY Abridged

A/N: You know what to do.

Episode 5

"Ahhh. What a beautiful day. A perfect day for flying while listening to Final Fantasy XIII music. It is so peaceful. It is amazing. I am glad I am a bird. Maybe I should try something new so my mother won't go around fighting hunters and huntresses. Yeah. I should be different and embrace and befriend the hunters and huntresses- FUUUUUUUUCK!" Said the bird Ruby kills by crashing into it.

"No! BIRDY!" Ruby said. "Should I randomly fire to land? No. I'll do this. Allyoop!" Ruby said as she swings from a tree.

"I'm going to defy the laws of physics with my runes." Weiss said summoning a rune in mid-air and landing.

"Watch this for a James Bond move." Ren said while singing the James Bond theme song as he lands and slides down a tree. "I like to see someone do better. Wait wha-." Ren looks up and sees Yang.

"Ha. 'I believe I can fly!' I can fly mutha fukka! HAHAHA!" Yang said as she flies through the air and lands. "Nailed it, bitch." Yang said after ward.

"Over the hill, and through the trees I go." Pyrrha said as she literally goes through the trees. "Now then where is-" Pyrrha sees Juane.

Pyrrha converts her rifle to a spear. "If my calculations are correct, It should be riiiight- there." She throws the spear.

Juane, still screaming, changes his tone when the spear hits. "OWWWWWW!"

"Ooops. Sorry about that!" Pyrrha said.

Ruby lands and runs.

"I'm not lost. I'm not lost. I'm not lost. Ok maybe I should find Yang so my anxiety of being lost wont kill me out here. Let's see now. If I run into Juane we get to have our own Animated Adventures like Jordan and those other guys. But everyone has already call it that Juane is the guy who dies first. Wait, if I run into Blake, the plot finally starts. But I think the first thing she'll do is read books and get sick of me because I'm me. WHO IS GOING TO BE ON MY TEAM?!" Ruby said.

Ruby runs into Weiss and she smiles.

"Jackpot!" Ruby said and Weiss walks away. "Wait what are you doing?"

"Walking away like a tsundere, dunce." Weiss said.

"Dunce? What happened it Baka?" Ruby said.

"I'm revolutionizing it." Weiss said then sees Juane hanging from a tree.

"Ow ow ow. I got to get that out. (That's what she said.)" Juane said trying to get the spear out then sees Weiss.

Juane sees Weiss and gasps like a fangirl "WEIIIIISSSSSSSS!"

"FUCK NOOOOO!" Weiss said and walks back to Ruby. "Let's get out of here."

"You came back!" Ruby said all happy.

"Well it's not like you asked me to, dunce." Weiss said and they leave.

"AH YOU BITCH!" Juane said watching them walk away and sees Pyrrha.

"How's it hanging?" Pyrrha said.

"Very funny... But the view is amazing." Juane said to Pyrrha

"Oh you..." Pyrrha blushed.

"So what do we do?" Ruby said.

"Well I can tell you are not feisty enough, so I don't thing you can fight." Weiss said.

"Nyan!" Ruby said imitating a cat. "See I can be feisty. I can be good, bad, however you or the fans want me to be." Ruby leans on Weiss' shoulder. "I guess you can say I'm yours and the fans are like 'I SHIP THEM!' And that's what I like to see happen." Ruby disappears.

"Then what's the point of you running off?" Weiss said.

Weiss then sees all eyes on her.

"Wow. They really took the actual scene from Snow White and The Seven Dwarfs. I just hope this no fucked up hentai moment." Weiss said.

The Ursa appears before Weiss. "Oh shit." Weiss said.

-End-

A/N: I'm open to ideas for the next episodes. If you plan on making your own Abridged series for Youtube, fill free to use these for material and stuff. Just mention me. Thanks :)


	6. Chapter 6

RWBY Abridged

A/N: You know what to do.

Episode 6

Yang walks through the forest.

"Well I guess I flew too far. I don't know where to go. And now I fell like Ruby and her anxiety problem for getting lost. So I guess I'm lost, and talking to myself." Yang said and hears something in the bushes.

"Hello? Is there anyone there?" She looks up and sees two Ursa. "Fuck." Yang said and leaps back.

Yang fights the two Ursa.

"So I guess you two are like bears with skull caps?" Yang said and dodges the Ursa's attacks. "Ha ha. I should have used my sunglasses for that joke-."

Yang sees a strand of her hair fall to the ground.

"You... YOU MOTHER FU-!" Yang goes Super Saiyan on the Ursa and kills one and fights the other. "BRING IT, BITCH!" Yang said and the Ursa begins to fight, but it gets killed by Blake.

"Problem?" Blake said grinning. Yang looks at Blake and it's silent for now.

"Wow. You are beautiful." Yang said to Blake.

Weiss is fighting Ursa as well.

"Ok let's see. Fight or run? I might as well fight since everyone else had screen time so here I go." Weiss said and charges at the Ursa in front of her.

"Peek-a-boo!" Ruby said appearing out of nowhere, killing the Ursa.

"Oh shit!" Weiss said and redirected her fire magic that hits a tree. The Ursa pushes Ruby and Ruby hits Weiss.

"Sorry." Ruby said.

"Sorry? Who jumps in front of someone when they attack an enemy?" Weiss said.

"Almost every anime character?" Ruby said. They ready to fight and the burning tree falls over.

"Let's go. Let's GO!" Weiss said.

"IT BURNS!" The Ursa said.

Ruby and Weiss stop running.

"Oh great. Where going to go jail now for starting a forest fire." Ruby said.

"We? No. You are going to go to jail." Weiss said.

"But it was your fire magic."

"Ok fair enough. But don't ever jump in front of me again. Baka!"

"Now you are back to Baka? What happened to Dunce?"

"Look I don't want to keep explaining this. Let's just go!"

"Ahhh. Fuck this tree!" Ruby said and sliced the tree in half.

Juane and Pyrrha are walking through the forest.

"The hell was that?" Juane said.

"A tree fell over. I guess someone is always around to hear it." Pyrrha said.

Juane falls over after being hit by a branch.

"Oh my God. I'm so sorry!" Pyrrha said.

"Naw. It's cool." Juane said.

"Can you heal yourself?"

"Say what?"

"You know. Healing magic. Aura."

"I don't know."

"So you don't know?"

"Well maybe I do. But I don't..."

"Ok I'll tell you."

Ren is walking alone.

"I could really use some epic music here." Ren said to himself. "Wait." Ren stops and hears something. (Insert Harry Potter Parsel Tongue Language here).

The snake appears. Back to Juane and Pyrrha.

"Aura is healing magic everyone has and don't know it." Pyrrha said.

"So, I got it then?" Juane said. Back to Ren.

(Continue with Parsel Tongue sounds).

"Ok. Time to bring out the guns." Ren said and fights the snake. He stabs the snake in the head.

"Gotcha Bitch." Ren said and hears the other snake. "Oh. It's a two-headed snake. Please don't tell me they got the idea from a sex toy."

The snakes fight Ren.

"Watch this for a Hercules move." Ren said as he slides on the back of the snake, like how Hercules was on the Hydra. "He shoots. He falls." Ren said and falls, dropping his guns and the snake moves in to eat him. "SHIIIIIIITTTTTT!" Ren said. Back to Juane and Pyrrha.

"The power was in me the whole time!" Juane said.

"Yep. But I think it's too early for that." Pyrrha said. Back to Ren.

Ren brakes the snake's teeth and blows up it's head.

"I'd like to see Harry Potter do that." Ren said and charges at the next one. Back to Juane and Pyrrha.

"Let me show the power." Pyrrha said.

"Um. Ok then." Juane said. Pyrrha put her hands on him.

'Ok. This would be a good time to kiss him.' Pyrrha thought. 'No! Focus. I need to heal him. But I want him. Come on Pyrrha. No. Not yet.' Pyrrha sighs in disappointment.

"What's the matter?" Juane said.

"Nothing. I healed you and now you can heal yourself." Pyrrha said smiling. "And you look great."

"Well, thank you." Juane said. Back to Ren.

"Ok. I better not fight something like that again. I wish I could find Nora." Ren said.

"You called?" Nora said, appearing from a tree.

"Wow. You where right about the 4th wall thing." Ren said.

"And... Boop." Nora said.

-End-

A/N: Please Review and hope you enjoyed it :)


	7. Chapter 7

RWBY Abridged

A/N: So watch or re-watch the episode before reading. I'm trying to come up with some more so please review or PM me for any ideas for the other episodes. And what ever sounds good for Volume 2. Thanks :)

Episode 7

Ozpin and Glenda Goodwitch are at the cliff, spectating on there Android Tablets. (Ipads are too mainstream and Windows is Windows).

"So according to our Android Tablets, we got only 8 players left because the other ones don't matter yet. I don't know if these are the best characters I have seen, but then again, I'm just judging them. So anyway, let's just go back to the academy and figure out what we should do with the bodies if they don't come back alive. Are you coming?" Glenda Goodwitch said.

"Quite! I'm concentrating.!" Ozpin said. "My pairings will be canon soon, but now I'm worried about Ruby and Weiss. Ruby is moe and Weiss is a tsundere. Wait... Yuri couples happen that way anyway."

"You gotta be kidding me." Glenda Goodwitch said.

"Shut it Tucker. I mean Goodwitch." Ozpin said.

Switch to Ruby and Weiss.

"I think we go that way." Weiss said walking. "Or that way." Weiss walked the other way. "Or... I got nothing."

"I'm going to loose it. I hate being lost!" Ruby said.

"We're not lost were going to the Forest Temple like in Legend of Zelda." Weiss said.

"So we are lost!" Ruby said.

"Well at least this is not the Skulltula forest." Weiss said.

"I'm freaking out now. My anxiety is getting to me!" Ruby said.

"Are you serious?"

"I'm not the one being a tsundere here like you!"

"Ok you are serious."

"Oh look at me, I am tsundere. I cry in front of everyone and say Baka 24/7." Ruby said imitating one.

"You dare insult me and the tsundere race?"

"You do it better. And why don't you admit it?"

"Admit what?"

"That you don't love me!"

"I do like you!" Weiss said. "But I still need to know what you can do later on." Weiss walks away.

"But why don't you love me now?" Ruby said.

Switch to Yang and Blake.

"Hey look. It's there." Blake said.

"Huh. Looks like Legend of Zelda." Yang said.

They walk into the temple.

"Chess Pieces, eh?" Blake said.

"I thought he said we are to find something shiny." Yang said.

"Well, Ozpin was wearing sunglasses. So everything he sees must be shiny." Blake said.

"Yeah. Maybe." Yang said.

Switch to Juane and Pyrrha.

"I think we're here." Juane said, looking down the cave. They walk in the cave.

"What are we looking for anyway?" Pyrrha said.

"Ozpin said it was something shiny. And to watch out for the Red Team. Usually shiny things appear in caves so- AH!" Juane trips and the torch goes out.

"Well that's one way to set the mood." Pyrrha said.

"Mood? I dropped it on accident." Juane said.

"Oh... I thought you were trying to make a move." Pyrrha said.

Back to Yang and Blake.

Yang gasped "How about a cute little Pony?" Yang said excited.

"Alright." Blake said and smiles.

"You are a Brony too aren't you?" Yang said.

"Yes. I think majority of people are." Blake said and they smile to one another.

Back to Pyrrha and Juane.

They walk in the cave and see something shiny.

"There it is!" Juane said. He reaches out but it pulls back. "Oh he's trolling us by using a fishing hook, huh?" Juane said and grabbed it.

"JUANE I DON'T THINK THAT'S-!" Pyrrha said.

Juane looks in the scorpion's eyes. "EEEEEEEEEYAAAAAAAAAAAA!" Juane screamed.

Yang and Blake.

"Dafaq was that!" Yang said.

"I don't know, but that sound makes me feel uneasy." Blake said.

Juane and Pyrrha.

"Run run run run run run RUUUUNNNNN!" Pyrrha said, exiting the cave. The scorpion brakes out. "Oh shit." Pyrrha said.

"AH! Pyrrha! Ozpin is trying to kill us! That bastard is trying to kill us all! Save yourself!" Juane said hanging from the tail.

"I'm not going to leave you, Juane!" Pyrrha said. Juane goes flying. "Ok maybe I should have saved him first." Pyrrha said watching him fly off. She looks at the scorpion. "Uhh... yeah. Screw this!" Pyrrha runs away.

Yang and Blake.

"Do you see it?" Blake said.

"See what?" Yang said.

"LOOK OUUUUUUTTTT!" Ruby said falling from the sky.

"Where did she come from?" Yang and Blake said.

-End-

A/N: Hope you enjoyed it. Review :)


	8. Chapter 8

RWBY Abridged

A/N: You know what to do. Sorry if it's too long and might lack some points. Enjoy and Review :)

Episode 8

"Tell me! How the hell did we get on this bird!" Weiss said as her and Ruby are on a bird.

"Well... I may have killed one of its kids back in episode 5 and chopped down its tree in the last episode." Ruby said.

"So you pissed it off and it just came out of nowhere and we ended up here?" Weiss said.

"We can jump off you know." Ruby said.

"You wouldn't jump if-"

Ruby disappeared."Sorry I'm not here! I jumped!" Ruby said.

"OH YOU BAKA!" Weiss said.

Yang and Blake.

"So what did you see?" Yang said and Blake pointed up.

"LOOK OUUUUUUUUUUUUUTTTTTTTTTTTT!" Ruby said falling and Juane hits her in mid air and they fall in the tree.

"Stars, wolves, and cookies." Ruby said regaining conscious. She sees Juane.

"Sup Ruby?" Juane said.

"Nothing. You hanging out?" Ruby said and Juane was annoyed.

"Was she falling this whole time?" Blake said.

"Yes. And it's been a week." Yang said referring to how the episodes aired.

They see an Ursa and hear a very loud moan as pink smoke comes out from behind it. Nora falls off of it.

"Wow. That was something." Nora said. Ren shows up.

"Nora..." Ren said panting. "We are not doing 'it' on a live Ursa again." He looks up. "Dafaq? Where'd you go?"

"OOOOOO!" Nora said looking at the Rook Piece and picks it up. "I'm Queen of the castle and your a dirty as-"

"NORA!" Ren said.

"Is that Pinky Pie?" Blake said.

"Kind of." Yang said.

Pyrrha and the scorpion show up.

"Run run run run run run RUUUUUUUNNNN!" Pyrrha said being chased by the scorpion.

"Oh crap, Pyrrha!" Juane said still hanging from the tree. Ruby jumps down. "Damn it! Not again." Juane said.

"Ruby!" Yang said.

"Onee-sama!" Ruby said.

"Surprise!" Nora jumped out.

"Ok so that thing is suppose to a be a death stalker right?" Blake said.

"AHHH! First an Ursa, and now a giant scorpion! What the fuck is next that we are forced to fight." Yang said.

"...A giant bird." Ruby said.

"Damn it Ruby." Yang said.

"BAKA! I'M STILL HERE!" Weiss said hanging from the bird.

"Just let go!" Ruby said.

"But won't she get killed?" Blake said.

"She'll be ok right?" Ruby said.

"Nope. She's screwed." Ren said.

Juane leaps into action.

"So, have you fallen for me?" Juane said and Weiss looks down and he also looks down. "Oh shit!" Juane said and they fall.

Juane falls face first and Weiss lands on him.

"You still need to work on your character." Weiss said.

"Ok we need a plan." Yang said and Pyrrha jumps toward them.

"Let's just go together and fight them." Yang said.

"Ok Let's do this. LEEEEERRROYYYYYYY JENKIIINNNNS!" Ruby said charging at the scorpion.

Ruby fails and looks at the scorpion.

"Oh fuck me!" Ruby said. Shoots the scorpion and runs away.

"Hang on!" Yang said running to Ruby.

The bird shows up, shoots its feathers at Ruby and Yang and Ruby's red hood is caught.

"Take it off and leave it. It's not worth it!" Yang said.

"But I'm the main character! I need my hood!" Ruby said.

The scorpion tries to kill Ruby but Weiss saves her.

"Baka!" Weiss said.

"You saved me?" Ruby said.

"Don't get the wrong idea. It's not like I did this because I wanted to." Weiss said.

"Still going with the tsundere thing?" Ruby said.

"Do you think I'm doing it too much?" Weiss said.

"No. You do it ok." Ruby said.

"Oh. Well thank you." Weiss walks away.

"I Love You Weiss." Ruby whispered to herself.

Ruby looks at the scorpion. "Daym..." Ruby said.

Yang runs to Ruby.

"Well that was fun, huh?" Yang said.

They all regroup and try to figure out what to do.

"Ok we got two monsters we got to fight and there's eight of us. So who wins?" Juane said.

"The good guys of course." Weiss said.

"Look lets grab the ponies and towers and get the hell out of here." Ruby said.

They run in another direction.

"What are you looking at?" Blake said.

"Uhhh, nothing." Yang said.

"Incest much?" Blake said.

They go to the ruins and fight the grimm.

"Time to go Call of Duty on it." Ren said and Nora shoots the bird with a grenade launcher.

Ren and Pyrrha shoot at the scorpion and the bridge breaks. Juane looks at the others on the other side.

"So how do we get there?" Juane said.

"Ever used a catapult?" Nora said.

"No." Juane said.

Nora uses her hammer to catapult Jaune and herself to fight the scorpion.

"SURPRISE!" Nora said hitting the scorpion, then accidentally knocking Blake off the bridge.

Blake throws her blade and swings from the bridge (Insert Tarzan-like battle cry while swinging here).

"What do we do?" Blake said.

"Shoot its ass down!" Yang said.

They shoot the bird. And they get to the point where they need to fight it head on.

The others fight the scorpion.

"Let's do something epic." Juane said.

"Watch this." Pyrrha said and throws her spear then shield. The scorpion is injured.

"Watch this." Nora said hits it with her hammer. "It's super effective!" Nora said.

They jump and land on the ground.

"Ouch." Juane said.

"Weee." Nora said.

"Land and hold pose..." Pyrrha said.

"Ok and I'll... aww fuck it." Ren falls over.

Ruby and the others continue to fight it and they use their slingshot plan.

"Ok so can you make the shot?" Ruby said.

"Hell yeah. I've played angry birds" Weiss said.

Ruby looks uncertain. "Mobile or-?" Ruby said.

"Ipad you dunce!" Weiss said.

Ruby is launched to the bird and runs up the wall.

"I'm a NINJA!" Ruby said running up the wall and cutting off the bird's head.

A moment of silence for their victory, and Yang speaks.

"Well I guess we really... 'Flipped The Bird.'" Yang said. (Insert CSI Music here).

Fast forward to the initiation ceremony.

"Now you guys are basically last minute characters at this point of the season and, as of now, are considered to be the assholes and douchebags of the series, next to the villains, I hear by name you team CRDL (Cardinal)." Ozpin said. "Now you four. With your epic moves on the scorpion and by being the secondary and supporting characters, I hear by name you team JNPR."

"YAY! Kiss me!" Nora said to Ren.

"No, it's too early." Ren said.

"Yes team JNPR named after my teamma-, I mean Juane is leader." Ozpin said.

"Wait whaaaaa?" Juane said.

"Alright! You did it!" Pyrrha said and punching Juane but he falls over. "Ooops. Sorry." Pyrrha said smiling.

"And finally you four, congratulations! Your guys are team RWBY. Named after the show and Ruby who is now your leader." Ozpin said.

"WE MADE IT RUBY!" Yang said.

"Yes. The plot is finally starting. And it only took 8 episodes, which is almost three common anime episodes." Ozpin said.

"MEANWHILE, AT THE LEGION OF DOOM!" (Narrator voice.)

"Shut up! This is my hideout!" Roman said.

Roman talks on his phone. "Screw Gotham! I ain't going back." He hangs up and his henchmen come in.

"Riddle me this." Roman said flashing some cards and giving it to the henchmen.

Roman opens the case and gazes at the dust.

"This beats Gotham by a longshot." Roman said.

-End-

A/N: Sorry if this was not entirely funny. I tried to come up with some ideas but I didn't have much. I would like the thank rst64tlc for sharing the angry birds idea for the fight part. Also if you are wondering about that Ozpin and JNPR thing, it refers to Red Vs. Blue since JNRP was supposedly named after the Blue Team. If you guys have any more ideas for the next 8 episodes, fill free to share by review or PM. Anyways, Thanks :)


	9. Chapter 9

RWBY Abridged

A/N: You know what to do. Enjoy and Review :)

Episode 9

It's morning and Weiss wakes up. Ruby blows her whistle (Instert loudest whistle sound or annoying sound here).

"SON OF A BITCH!" Weiss said as she fell on the floor.

"Wakey! Wakey! Bitches!(Sorry)" Ruby said.

"What the fuck is wrong with you?" Weiss said.

"We got something to do now!" Ruby said.

"Which is?" Weiss said.

"Decorating!" Yang said.

"Seriously?" Weiss said.

"Well yeah." Blake said and everything fall out of her suitcase. "Well that was a fail." Blake said.

Ruby blows whistle again.

"Ok. Now let us begin what fans will sometimes love. MONTAGE!" Ruby said.

"MONTAGE!" Yang and Blake said.

"Dunces." Weiss said.

Decorating Montage. (Insert NaruSasu joke at the Ninja's of Love part.)

Finished decorating and beds are piled up.

"So, where do we sleep." Weiss said.

"Yuri fanservice?" Blake said.

"Where we sleep together?" Yang said.

"We could do that. Or we can use bunk beds!" Ruby said.

"NO! I mean, how can we?" Weiss said.

"Stack em UP!" Yang said.

"Yeah we can do that." Blake said.

"Well maybe we should think about it." Weiss said.

"Too late." Ruby said.

"Yes." Blake said.

"YES!" Yang said.

"FUCK!" Weiss said.

They build the bunk beds.

"There we go." Ruby said.

"I hope this won't be like Step Brothers." Weiss said.

"And now we look at... books." Ruby said opening up a book disappointed. "Ok we get to go to a class right now and-"

"WHAT?! RIGHT NOW?!" Weiss said. "YOU BAKA! DUNCE!" Weiss said and runs out.

"Ok. Race ya there." Ruby said and everyone even JNPR follows them.

They pass Ozpin and Glenda Goodwitch.

"There goes my pairings. Off to class." Ozpin said and Glenda Goodwitch sighs.

In the classroom.

"See that? Ubisoft got nothing on that blunderbuss." Said Professor Port.

The class is not enjoying it.

"To day we will learn some math." Port said.

Ruby falls asleep.

"Math... with Monty." Port said.

Ruby wakes up.

"But first we must talk about monsters. Some are good. Some are bad. Others hide in certain places if you know what I mean." Port said. Yang rolled her eyes getting the joke. "Now then, before we go any further, are you ready to know how to fight monsters?"

"Yeah boy!" said the background character.

"Who the fuck is that?" Team RWBY said.

"Listen carefully because I will say blah blah blah most of the time." Port said.

Weiss is trying to stay awake and Ruby draws.

"What are you doing?" Weiss said.

"Drawing without drawing like an artist." Ruby said.

"Blah blah blah and then I did blah." Port said.

Ruby snickers.

"What's so funny?" Weiss said.

Ruby shows the drawing.

"I was thinking of adding a penis like a douchebag." Ruby said and everyone but Weiss laughs.

"Huh not bad." Port said. "Now blah blah and that's how I got it. Oh yeah blah blah."

"Shut up. Shut up. Shut up. Shut up." Weiss kept thinking continuously.

"Look at me." Ruby said with her balancing act.

"Focus. Focus. Focus. Focus. Focus." Weiss thought continuously.

"Sleep. Sleep. Sleep. Sleep." Ruby said.

"Dunce. Dunce. Dunce. Dunce. Dunce." Weiss thought continuously.

"Watch me do a Gintoki impression." Ruby said picking her nose.

"BAKA. BAKA. BAKA. BAKA. BAKA!" Weiss though continuously.

"Now, any questions?" Port said and Weiss raised her hand.

"WHEN THE HELL DO WE FIGHT MONSTERS?!" Weiss said.

"Funny you should ask because we coincidentally have one right here in this cage. And you will fight it... In the next episode." Port said.

-End-

A/N: I want to thank rst64tlc for the Math with Monty idea. Hope you guys enjoyed it. Review and stuff. Thanks :)


	10. Chapter 10

RWBY Abridged

A/N: You know what to do. This will be the last time to remind you to watch or re-watch the episode.

Episode 10

Back in Professor Port's classroom, Weiss readies to fight the grimm.

"Kick its ass!" Yang said.

"Rah rah rah." Blake said waving the flag with team/school spirit.

"YAY! Don't hold back Weiss!" Ruby said.

"D-don't say things like that BAKA!" Weiss said.

"And you are a tsundere again." Ruby said.

"3. 2. 1. FIGHT!" Port said opening the cage. A warthog readies to charge.

"Oik Oik Bitch!" said the warthog that charges at Weiss.

Weiss dodges the attack.

"Oik. You a'int gonna kill meh you know!" said the warthog.

"Oh snap! You gonna take that from him?" Port said in a funny way.

"Well that was unexpected but expected." Ruby said.

Weiss hits the warthog, but gets her sword caught.

"Damn it. Give it back." Weiss said.

"Pull it out Weiss!" Ruby said.

"SHUT UP!" Weiss said feeling awkward from Ruby's words.

Weiss loses her sword.

"Don't worry, we still have left over body bags." Port said.

"Oh shit!" Weiss said as she dodges the warthog again and runs for her sword.

"Weiss! The belly! Take my advice-" Ruby said.

"Shut up you dunce!" Weiss said.

"Aw I'm just helping." Ruby said upset.

"Sonic the Hedgehog! Watch this shit! YAAAAAAA!" Said the warthog.

Weiss uses her runes to shield herself and knocks the pick on its back.

"Well I might as well go for its belly." Weiss said taking Ruby's advice.

"Dahhhhh my pork rinds!" said the warthog.

Weiss kills the warthog.

"Alright well that's enough for today. We will do Math with Monty next time, maybe. Stay awesome and class dismissed." Port said.

Weiss walks out.

"Tsundere again?" Juane said.

Ruby runs to Weiss.

"Weiss what's up?" Ruby said.

"What's up?! That's the line you go with?" Weiss said.

"Are you ok?" Ruby said.

"I'm frustrated that's all. Can't you tell?" Weiss said.

"But why are you mad at me?" Ruby said.

"Because you are the leader, the main character, and those phrases you said in class." Weiss said.

"I couldn't help it." Ruby said.

"Well I think I need some time to think ok. My tsundere self and normal self are at conflict right now." Weiss said.

"Do you want me to-" Ruby said.

"Go away Ruby." Weiss said walking away.

"Okay byyyyye." Ruby said upset.

"I heard Frozen music. Is everything ok?" Ozpin said appearing out of nowhere.

"Are you really some kind of wizard?" Ruby said.

"A wizard, team captain, and supposedly made after the creator." Ozpin said.

"Eh?" Ruby said.

Weiss walks down the hall to the courtyard to see Port.

"Hello?" Weiss said.

"What up girl?" Port said.

"Why do you keep talking like that?" Weiss said.

"Just something as part of the Abridged series." Port said.

"Clever." Weiss said.

"Now what is the problem?" Port said.

"I'm not the leader or main character." Weiss said.

"But you did have your own trailer and you are strong enough to protect yourself from any danger." Port said.

Switch to Ruby and Ozpin.

"So what do you mean?" Ruby said.

"I mean you have your own trailer and can protect yourself from any danger. I'm not necessarily the main character in the other show, but I can train a couple of guys to fight, even if they can't do anything right. You guys will know more about me in upcoming seasons." Ozpin said.

Back to Weiss and Port.

"Wait what?" Weiss said.

"It's just a reference. Now you can do better you know?" Port said.

"You mean like keep going and some fanservice every once in awhile?" Weiss said.

"Exactly. It's only been 10 episodes so far. You guys got a whole series." Port said.

"Seriously?" Weiss said.

"You have more fans than you think." Port said.

"I'm aware of that. Well, kind of." Weiss said.

Ruby and Ozpin.

"Here's the thing. Just try to be more moe and badass and you guys will be fine. Just don't get to a point where you are forced to fight each other." Ozpin said.

Weiss and Port.

"Just try to work on it and you will be fine. Also make sure you tone down the tsundere thing because you over do it at times where people keep criticizing it's not an anime." Port said.

Ruby and Ozpin once more.

"Well that's enough of breaking the 4th wall, let's get back to our everyday lives." Ozpin said and leaves.

Later that night, Weiss walks in the room and sees Blake and Yang asleep. She sees Ruby studying asleep and wakes her up.

"Whoa what's going on?" Ruby said.

"Hush." Weiss said and looks at her cup. "Fanservice or coffee?"

"Say what?" Ruby said confused.

"You heard me." Weiss said.

"Well all I heard was coffee, so coffee." Ruby said.

"Damn it." Weiss said and gets her a new cup of coffee. "Here you go."

"Thank you." Ruby said.

"Look, I'm sorry for how I have been and I will work on my character a little more. I'm also surprised the bunk beds are stable too. Well I'm going. Nice mask by the way." Weiss begins to exit the room.

"And Ruby, thank you." Weiss said.

"Um, your welcome." Ruby said.

"I Love You Ruby." Weiss whispered.

"What did you say?" Ruby said.

"UHH, I'm going now." Weiss said in a rush and leaves.

"SCORE!" Ruby said to herself.

-End-

A/N: Sorry if it was slow. But the next episodes will be a little more funny. You'll know it when you read. Please Review and all. Thanks :)


	11. Chapter 11

RWBY Stories

A/N: I apologize if anyone is offended for what I did to Cardin.

Episode 11

Juane and Cardin are having a battle as part of the combat class. Juane looses his shield and begins to strike Cardin with full force but Cardin blocks it with his mace.

"You'll have to try harder, sweet thang." Cardin said.

"What are you-?" Juane said then gets kick in the private area. "Ow my nuts." Juane said after falling.

Glenda Goodwitch stops the battle.

"Alright now we can see that Cardin is stronger than Juane and Juane is obviously weak. Either that or I am too judgmental." Glenda Goodwitch said. "Now Juane, if you want to be stronger, stop being a pussy at times and trying to act like a badass to impress some of the other characters. Your actions may work on some, but not on me and we don't want you to get carried away to make it seem like we are one of "those" kinds of anime." Glenda Goodwitch said as Juane looks at his stats.

"Mmmhmm. Don't get carried away now, darling." Cardin said and walks away.

"Now. Blah blah blah, there's going to be a tournament, you are all excited even thought we don't know what it is, and some are concerned for others but just train and get better." Glenda Goodwitch said.

"Man I suck..." Juane said to himself.

Later at Lunch, Nora is telling a story.

"So there we were at that one moment." Nora said.

"It was the end of episode 6." Ren said.

"The heat had build up. We needed to help ourselves for the problem at hand." Nora said as Yang took interest in the story.

"She came on to me and we started to make out." Ren said.

"We needed to have each other for battle!" Nora said.

"We ended up doing it." Ren said.

"And before we knew it, the ground shook making it the most magical thing ever. We made the battle last and we finished strong." Nora said.

"We didn't know we were on top of a live Ursa and that's how we ended up in episode 8." Ren said.

"You ok Juane?" Pyrrha said.

"Uhhhh what do you mean?" Juane said.

"Well, how do I put this... You don't look 'confident.'" Ruby said.

"Wow way to put it that way. But I can be confident. See?" Juane said trying to work on it.

They see team CRDL picking on Velvet.

"Juane we know Cardin is not very nice to you." Pyrrha said.

"What? Oh come on, Cardin is ok. He's just, very open." Juane said.

"He's an ass." Ruby said.

"Name one thing he's an ass for." Juane said.

Flashbacks.

"Hey there sweet thang. Hiya!" Cardin said karate chopping Juane's books.

Cardin presses the botton to activate Juane's shield. "Awwww DAMN IT!" Juane said.

"Now these lockers act like escape pods, which are convenient for some type of cliche prank." Glenda Goodwitch said.

"Go on now! Get in there!" Cardin said and activates the locker to rocket out of the school.

"Awww you bastard!" Juane said.

Back in the present.

"Ok maybe he is an ass." Juane said.

"You can ask us for help." Pyrrha said.

"Break his legs and kick him in the nuts!" Nora said.

"Thanks, but I am going to let it slide like how every other character is when they get bullied by another character." Juane said.

CRDL picks on Velvet.

"She ain't no playboy bunny." Cardin said laughing.

"I need my screen time soon." Velvet said passing by.

"We really need to kill him." Pyrrha said.

"I think we all do." Blake said.

"I feel really sorry for that girl." Yang said.

"Well I guess we wait for the next episode." Juane said.

"Mmm hm hm hm Rape face tiiiiime!" Cardin said.

-End-

A/N: Ok so you might be questioning what I did to Cardin, but you'll see more in the next one. Review and all. Thanks :)


	12. Chapter 12

RWBY Abridged

A/N Once again, sorry if I offended anyone with what I did to Cardin.

Episode 12

It was class and Juane was falling asleep while listening on the lecture.

"And so class we are working and learning. Learning and Working. Working to a full extent to learn about the things called Faunus." Said Professor Oobleck talking fast. "Now I as I move at the speed of light, we will learn more about this Faunus race and get down to business. But first who here is a Faunus? Raise your hand. How about you there with the black bow? No? Ok. I know you are one because of the bunny ears, so why don't you raise your hand?"

Velvet raises her hand while looking scared at the same time.

"And does anyone have any questions?"

"Yeah are you high or something? Like crack?" Weiss said.

"That's none of your business! But it's crack and meth. We all need to work together. Now as I move at the speed of light, can anyone answer a random question about what a Faunus can do?" Oobleck said talking fast.

Cardin hits Juane.

"Dafaq?" Juane said.

"WEeeeeeellllllll Now! What do we have here? Juane, do you know the answer? Answer quickly because we only got about 6 minutes left of the episode. So what is it?" Oobleck Said.

"Uhhhh, fuck what is it?" Juane whispered to himself and sees Pyrrha and tries to look at her sign language.

"Well it's got to be... Eyes! It's eyes!" Juane said after seeing Pyrrha kept pointing to her eyes. The class laughs at Juane.

"Baka!" Pyrrha whispered while facepalming.

"Well nice try, dumbass. But who knows the real answer? Cardin?" Oobleck said.

"I don't know so I won't answer." Cardin said.

"So you rather be an ass about that then?" Pyrrha said.

"Bitch! You want go at it right now hmmm?" Cardin said.

"No thanks. The answer is apparently night vision. According to the story." Pyrrha said.

"Bitch!" Cardin said.

"Faunus also have special powers too... N-not that I would know. But at least I decide to answer questions that I know." Blake said.

"Bitch, Imma goin to kick you in the the-!" Cardin said.

"Sit your ass down Cardin." Oobleck said.

Juane snickers.

"And for still being a dumbass, you and him are staying after class." Oobleck said.

"Fuck." Juane said.

Team JNPR, except Juane, leave.

"I'll wait for Juane. N-not like that means something else." Pyrrha said.

"Now listen here. You Cardin are an ass, and you Juane are a dumbass. One is weak and one is strong. But right now you two better work something out because I don't want to catch you two back in here again, or I'm going to take some meth and open a big can of whoop-ass on you. Now get the hell out. I got to finish my coffee and stuff so I can run fast at the time the credits roll." Oobleck said.

"That was a little to suddle." Juane said walking out.

"Bitch!" Cardin said pushing Cardin on the ground.

"I can kill him if you want." Pyrrha said helping Juane up.

"I don't know anymore." Juane said.

"I got an idea! Follow me!" Pyrrha said.

"Where are we go- I mean Okay!" Juane said thinking Pyrrha was doing something else.

Juane and Pyrrha get on the roof.

"So... you came here to let me jump off instead of doing what I assumed was, you know." Juane said.

"Oh shit! No way!" Pyrrha said pushing him away to a safer distance. "Look I do like you, but you need help."

"What do you mean." Juane said.

"Well, let's face it. Your not that strong and you are weak. But this is the part where you need training and to be stronger with the help of your team. And you can kick everyone's ass." Pyrrha said.

"Wow. Since you put it that way, I can't." Juane said.

"What do you mean?" Pyrrha said.

"Well I snuck into the school with messed up stuff like forged papers and fake transcripts to make it look like I am Beacon material. It was either that or eat cookies like an animal, and I can't even do that. I'm surprised no one caught on, but Glenda Goodwitch is on to me." Juane said.

"Yeah, she has been too judgmental. But let me help you." Pyrrha said.

"I don't need help. Not yet. But please leave me be right now." Juane said.

"Ok. I still like you though." Pyrrha said walking away.

Cardin shows up after Pyrrha leaves.

"Hiay, here's Cardin, and guess what? I'm going to rape your ass Juane." Cardin said.

"Circulate that bullshit elsewhere." Juane said.

"Don't wanna hear it. You going to start letting me boss you around as of now. You got it?" Cardin said.

"And why is that?" Juane said.

"Cardin knows what your secret is. You this close to getting kicked out of here and not become a character anymore, so don't act like my team can't do shit."

"Awwww fuck." Juane said.

-End-

A/N: Sorry it took so long to post this chapter. I've been busy. But at least I plan on finishing this before the next season/volume of RWBY, which is coming soon. Anyway, stay updated with this and stuff. Thanks :)


	13. Chapter 13

RWBY Abridged

A/N: I hope you guys are enjoying the Abridged series so far. Please Review and stuff. Thanks :)

Episode 13

Team JNPR, excluding Juane, are in their dorm room thinking things over.

"So what's up with Juane?" Nora said while jumping on the bed.

"Apparently he's Cardin's bitch now, and has to do whatever he and his team wants." Ren said while cleaning his guns.

"Awww that sucks. I wonder what do they make him do?" Nora said.

"As much as I want to know, I think I should act like Weiss and be a tsundere for a while." Pyrrha said.

"Son of a bitch." Juane said to himself.

"What's up with you?" Ruby said.

"Uhh nothing." Juane said.

"You became Cardin's bitch did you?" Ruby said.

"Ok you got me." Juane said and falls to the floor. "I feel like a failure. I can't lead or manage my team. And Pyrrha hates me now. What do you think I should do give up?" Juane said.

"Nope." Ruby said.

"Really?" Juane said.

"Nope." Ruby said.

"So give up then?" Juane said.

"Nope." Ruby said.

"You are just trolling me aren't you?" Juane said.

"Nop- I mean yes. But if Cardin and his team are going to rape you, just remember no means nope." Ruby said smiling and about to walk into her dorm room.

"Ok then..." Juane said.

"Good night Onee-chan." Ruby said and leaves.

"Now I'm her brother? Oh well, I'm not going to complain." Juane said and checks his messages.

"Hiay, it's Cardin here and me and my team have been waiting for you Juane, if you know what I mean. But hey, you need to get some wasps for us and some jars and we can skip all that stuff. But don't fuck this up you hear?" Cardin said.

"Wasps and Jars? He better be thinking wasps can make honey too." Juane said to himself.

Glenda Goodwitch and teams RWBY, JNPR, and CRDL, walk through the Forest of Forever Fall.

"Now listen. We are here to get some tree sap and like most of the time, I will not be supervising you. There are still bodybags to go around so if you guys die, you don't have to worry about how you are getting out of here. Have fun." Glenda Goodwitch said.

"Ok darling, let's get moving." Cardin said to Juane.

Pyrrha looks at Juane and he walks away.

"Baka." Pyrrha said thinking about Juane.

Team CRDL has nothing better to do so they just lay around and do nothing. Juane shows up with six jars of sap.

"So honey, I see you got the honey, mmmhmmm?" Cardin said.

"Yeah. I feel sick." Juane said.

"Now listen. Do you know what's going to happen if you don't do what we said." Cardin said.

"You guys are going to rape me and stuff. But what do you want now?" Juane said.

"Well... hmhmhmhmhm." Cardin said.

They all see the other teams collecting tree sap.

Ren gives Nora a jar to switch to the next one.

"Ooooo!" Nora said.

Ren fills the next jar and sees Nora ate what was in the first one.

"Dammit Nora!" Ren said.

"Ok so what are we doing?" Juane said.

"Well you find out." Cardin said looking at Pyrrha.

Pyrrha is collecting tree sap.

"There she is. There's the bitch collecting sap. Just look at her. Thinking she's so smart with that long red hair, while mine is just short and brown and not good looking enough. We are going to use these wasps to sting the fuck out of her. Thanks for getting these Juane darling." Cardin said. "In order to let this go perfectly according to plan, we are going to make Juane throw the jar of sap at her and the wasps will do the rest. Ok?"

Juane thinks to himself.

"Oh man. What do I do? I don't want to do this. But I'm going to get killed either way. I also love Pyrrha. What do I do?" Juane thought.

Pyrrha is unknowingly being watched, but smiles and it gets Juane's attention.

"Oh that smile. You know what, I should take Ruby's advice. That's what I'll do." Juane thought.

"No." Juane said.

"Say what?" Cardin said.

"I said. 'No means Nope.' Bitch!" Juane said.

Juane throws the jar at Cardin.

"Oh now we going to rape your ass Juane. Bring him here." Cardin said.

"Aww DAMMIT RUBY!" Juane said.

-End-

A/N: Hope you guys liked it. Thanks :)


	14. Chapter 14

RWBY Abridged

A/N: Ok, we are almost done here with volume/season 1. If you guys come up with ideas after seeing volume/season 2, please fill free to share by PM and stuff. I will also see the new episodes and try to come up with some ideas too. Anyways, Reveiw. :)

Episode 14

Team CRDL is beating up Juane because he threw the jar at Cardin.

"I'm going to soften you up. All bloody and rare, like Buck in Far Cry 3." Cardin said.

"I have no regrets." Juane said.

"But you came to the school with fake documents, got your ass kicked by majority of the characters, and you never got to second base or even first with Pyrrha." Cardin said.

"It was worth it." Juane said smiling.

"Dafaq you smiling about? I'm going wipe that grin off your face." Cardin said.

Cardin hits Juane, but Juane is saved by his Aura.

"What in the fuck?" Cardin said.

"Oh my God I can- nope it's just the Aura. Wait where the hell was it this whole time?" Juane said.

Juane falls to the ground again.

"Enough of this shit. It rape time!" Cardin said.

A Giant Ursa appears.

"I smell honey, sap, and rape!" The Giant Ursa said. "Hello beautiful." The Ursa said looking at Cardin.

"Did that thing just talk?!" One of the teammates of CRDL said and runs away.

"You fucking asses!" Cardin said to his teammates and is pushed out of the way.

Juane looks at the Ursa.

"Your not my type." The Ursa said to Juane.

"I'll use my mace!" Cardin said.

"No toys." The Ursa said, knocking the mace out of Cardin's hand.

"What do I do? What do I do?" Juane said to himself.

The Ursa roars loud enough for everyone to hear.

"Dafaq was that?" Ruby said.

Team CRDL, excluding Cardin, run past teams RWBY and JNPR, excluding Juane.

"Get the hell out of here!" They said.

"What the hell is going on?!" Yang said to one of them.

"A Giant Ursa is about to rape Cardin and Juane!" One of them said.

"Oh fuck!" Pyrrha said.

"Go get Goodwitch and we'll go get Cardin and Juane." Ruby said to Yang and Blake.

"Go with them. We need to kill that thing. And maybe Cardin too." Pyrrha said to Ren and Nora.

Cardin tries to run.

"Run RUUUNNN!" Cardin said.

The Ursa hits Cardin.

"Oh shit. I'm going to get raped! I'm going to get raped!" Cardin said.

"Oh shit, he's screwed." Pyrrha said.

"Come here you little-" The Ursa said, about to hit Cardin, but gets blocked by Juane.

"RULES OF NATURE!" Juane yelled and fights the Ursa. (Inster Rules of Nature song here).

Juane fights the Ursa and is about to get killed, but Pyrrha saves him with her polarity power to move his shield and he cuts off the Ursa's head.

"Uhhhh, Dafaq?" Ruby said.

"How in the fuck did you do that? Are you a Jedi?" Weiss said.

"No, I'm Magneto. My power is Polarity." Pyrrha said.

"Oh my God, you can control poles!" Ruby said.

"No you Baka, Dunce. She can control magnetism." Weiss said.

"Well actually Weiss, she's right. I can control poles... Especially Juane's pole." Pyrrha said. (Insert CSI music here).

"Well what now?" Weiss said.

"Let's just get out of here." Pyrrha said.

Juane helps Cardin up.

"Uhhh Thank you Juane." Cardin said.

"Don't fuck with me or my team and friends, or I will rape you like I did that Ursa!" Juane said.

"Ok. I think I'll change from now on. And work on my character. I could start by being in a relationship with that Bunny Faunus." Cardin said.

"Ok now your just over thinking to much. Work on your character first." Juane said and walks away.

Later that night on roof, Juane is standing and thinking and Pyrrha shows up.

"So you still Cardin's bitch?" Pyrrha said.

"No. Not anymore. Listen Pyrrha, I'm sorry. I was an idiot. I am an idiot. Can you forgive me for being stupid and cliche?" Juane said.

"Of course I can forgive you. I really like you Juane. Now let's go have pancakes Ren made. Nora ate all the tree sap earlier, so don't expect any syrup." Pyrrha said walking toward the door.

"I Love You Pyrrha." Juane said and Pyrrha turns around to look at him. "Sorry. I know it's too early for the series. Screw it. Let's just go with that to build it up for the next few seasons and episodes, huh, what do you say?" Juane said.

Pyrrha turns and smiles, then turns around again and pushes Juane on the ground.

"Okay! I'll take that as a yes!" Juane said.

"Let's make this for the fanfics and other stuff." Pyrrha said and helps Juane up. "But, we can still do 'it' if you want to, you know?" Pyrrha said.

"Oh hell yes!" Juane said.

"Alright! But let's cut to the credits first for...'Safety'." Pyrrha said. (Insert CSI music here).

-End-

A/N: Yeah that last part... Anyways, Ironically the last part did give me an idea for a Juane X Pyrrha fanfic, which I will work on eventually. Also, the Rules of Nature thing was from the only Abridged series on youtube and was pretty good I'll admit, but was one of the only good stuff in it. That "Polarity" joke was from a comment I saw from the actual episode on youtube, and finally the idea for the Cardin X Velvet pairing was from something I saw on Facebook. Anyways, I hope you enjoyed this. Review and stuff :)


	15. Chapter 15

RWBY Abridged

A/N: Review and Stuff :)

Episode 15

Team RWBY arrives in Vale to attend the Vital tournament and festival.

"Ahh, we are finally here!" Weiss said.

"What are you so cheerful about Weiss?" Ruby said.

"Well, isn't it obvious? We finally get our screen time. It only took 15 episodes and a few fillers, but now we, as the main characters, get our episodes and screen time!" Weiss said.

"So what was episode 8 then?" Yang said.

"That's only a prequel like episode people will be talking about for years to come." Weiss said.

"Ok. But what are we here for?" Yang said.

"I don't like the smell of this." Ruby said.

"I want to see if there are any non-shadow characters that will appear in future episodes. And I want to befriend them." Weiss said.

"But I thought you were in your tsundere stage still." Blake said.

"Of course I am Baka! I just want to expand it to everyone else." Weiss said.

They see a crime scene at a Dust Shop.

"Whoa are they filming CSI or Law and Order here?" Ruby said.

"No this is an actual crime scene." Said one of the detectives.

"Wow. Something that we haven't seen yet." Yang said.

"So who is behind this? You think it's that Riddler guy?" One detective said.

"No I think it's The White Fang." The other detective said.

"Why are they taking the dust and not the money too?" One detective said.

"I don't know. We should be in Law and Order." The other detective said.

"Ahh The White Fang. A serious problem apparently." Weiss said.

"Is that your tsundere self talking again?" Blake said.

"Well yes, and no. The White Fang is a problem and counts as bad guys." Weiss said.

"There is no problem with the White Fang. Most people at this point don't even know who they are." Blake said.

"That may be. But they are considered the bad Fanus in the story." Weiss said.

"Ok maybe. But how can people just point fingers at them for supposedly robbing a Dust shop?" Blake said.

"Because that happens all the time?" Ruby said. "And I think it was The Riddler because he is the only villain I know that actually robbed a Dust Shop and tried to kill me. So it's got to be him."

"We may have some ideas, but we still need an actual suspect." Weiss said.

"Well, where do we find one at the moment?" Yang said.

"Hey, stop! He's a suspect!" Said someone at the docks. They see Sun running.

"Well that was convenient." Ruby said and they run to the docks.

Sun runs to the end of the ship.

"Sorry, but I got to... 'Swap the poop deck!'" (Insert CSI music, plus record scratching sound).

"That wasn't even a good pun!" One of the crew-mates said.

"You are arguing with a monkey Faunus. Your argument is invalid!" Sun said hanging from the lamp post with a banana.

"Hey get your yellow tailed ass down from there." One of the detectives said.

Sun throws a banana peal at the detective.

"Oh you mother f-!" The detective said.

"Catch me if you can!" Sun said laughing and jumps down and runs.

"Is no one going to even try catching him." One of the detectives said, referring to the background characters.

Sun runs past team RWBY.

"Sup." Sun said winking at Blake.

Sun runs off with the detectives still chasing him.

"Did you see that? That douche just winked at Blake." Yang said.

"Come on. Let's go kick his ass!" Weiss said.

They start running after Sun.

"Are they upset because of yuri reasons?" Blake thought for a second and ran with them.

Team RWBY runs after Sun, being chased by the detectives. Weiss runs into Penny and Sun gets away.

"Fuck! He's gone!" Weiss said.

"Uhhh, you got someone under you." Yang said.

Weiss jumps up after seeing Penny.

"Ehhh, what's up?!" Penny said.

"Sup." Ruby said.

"What's up with you?" Yang said.

"Not much. Just... 'Laying about.'" Penny said. (Insert CSI music here.)

Team RWBY is surprised by that pun.

"So, you want to get up?" Yang said.

"Oh right, yeah." Penny said.

Penny jumps up and nails it.

"Dafaq?!" Team RWBY said backing away one step.

"My name is Penny. Nice to meet you." Penny said.

"I'm Ruby." Ruby said.

"Weiss." Weiss said.

"Blake." Blake said.

"Why do you look weird?" Yang said and Blake hits her. "Sorry, I'm Yang."

"Nice to meet you." Penny said.

"You just said that." Weiss said.

"Ok, your right." Penny said.

"Sorry if you thought I almost raped you. But we gotta go now." Weiss said.

"See ya later friend." Ruby said.

"Friend?" Penny said.

Team RWBY walks down the street.

"She was kind of weird." Yang said.

"Yeah, but lets find that-" Weiss said and they run into Penny again.

"What did you say?" Penny said.

"How the fuck did you-" Weiss said trying to figure out how Penny came out of nowhere.

"Ah! I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to call you weird." Yang said panicking.

"No not you." Penny said walking over to Ruby. "You."

"Me?" Ruby said.

"You called me Friend." Penny said. "Am I really your friend?"

"Uhhhhh..." Ruby said. Ruby looks at the others.

"No no no." The others tried to signal to Ruby.

"Well you see-" Ruby said.

"I've got cookies." Penny said.

"YES!" Ruby said.

"Ah Damn it Ruby!" The others said and fainted.

"YES! Now we can have our own story! Little Red Riding Hood and Penny! I love it!" Penny said.

"Is she being sarcastic?" Ruby asked Weiss.

"Nope. She's serious." Weiss said.

"So why are you here?" Yang said.

"I'm a last minute character that will appear in future episodes. I'm also in the tournament." Penny said.

"But, why are you dressed like that? What's with the outfit?" Weiss said.

"But your wearing a dress." Blake said.

"It's a combat skirt." Weiss said.

"Yeah!" Ruby said.

Weiss and Ruby high five.

"Suck it." Ruby said.

"Wait a minute? Do you know that monkey Faunus that we were chasing?" Weiss said.

"The what?" Penny said.

"This guy right here." Weiss shows Penny a poorly drawn picture of Sun. "This duchebag winked at Blake and ran off. We were trying to kick his White Fang ass, but then we ran into you. No offense." Weiss said.

"What do you mean kicking his White Fang ass? Why are you assuming he is that bad?" Blake said.

"Why am I assuming? So I guess I should not assume trash cans are not garbage cans. Or lamp posts are not street lights." Weiss said.

"Dafaq is wrong with you?" Blake said.

"I have no idea. But you got a problem with the White Fang, don't you?" Weiss said.

"Ah! Your such a Baka!" Blake said and walked in the other direction.

"How dare you? I'm the tsundere! I say the word Baka!" Weiss said.

"We're all girls here! We are all tsunderes!" Blake said.

"But I thought you were a kundere?" Weiss said.

"No. I'm just a character like you!" Blake said.

"Uhhhh... We should probably go now." Yang said.

"Can I come?" Penny said.

"Uh... no, sorry." Ruby said.

"So you think that all girls are tsunderes?" Weiss said.

"Of course! Have you not read any fanfiction?" Blake said.

Skip to them back at their dorm.

"Look. We can just agree that majority of girls are tsunderes." Weiss said. "But we can't just let go of the fact that the Faunus is part of the White Fang."

"Why do you keep criticizing him and the White Fang?" Blake said.

"Because for one thing. That bastard winked at you." Weiss said.

"Ok. So that was so stupid and I did not like that guy actually doing something like that. But of course that was meant to balance the story so asshole fans would not hate on the series for being a yuri sub-genre." Blake said.

"Your right. And as for the White Fang, I still don't like them." Weiss said.

"Why?! What's it to you?" Blake said.

"I'm a victim." Weiss said. "The White Fang have tried to steal from my family's company. They tried to kill some of us. And we found one of our trains was hijacked by some red haired guy wearing a mask. Long story short: The White Fang are assholes." Weiss said.

"Well maybe we are just at war with ourselves!" Blake said.

"We?!" Weiss said. The others are surprised. (Insert "Dun Dun Duuuuuun!" sound effect here.)

"Oh SHIT!" Blake said and runs out.

"Blake wait! You got some explaining to do!" Ruby said.

"Really?" Yang and Weiss said.

Blake is running and stops.

"Aw, fuck it." Blake said and shows her cat ears.

"Meow?" Sun said.

"And we have more problems." Blake said.

Ruby wakes up and sees Blake is not in her bed.

"Aw man." Ruby said.

Ruby, Weiss, and Yang are looking for Blake.

"So that's why we need to find her. Because she was not in her bed." Ruby said.

"I've heard a similar story before." Yang said referring to her character as Goldilocks.

"Well, we better start looking for her. Now that we know she is a Faunus." Weiss said.

"Weiss." Ruby said.

"Well at least she can be reasonable. I would like to know what makes her a Faunus." Yang said.

"You'd like that wouldn't you?" Weiss said.

"Let's just focus." Ruby said.

Blake is having coffee with Sun.

"So. You want to know? Then let's wait for the next episode." Blake said.

-End-

A/N: Yes, this episode was hard to work with. The next one might take a while, but if you guys have any ideas, please PM me. Otherwise, hope you guys enjoyed it and I will work on the next part. Review and stuff. Thanks :)


	16. Chapter 16

RWBY Abridged

A/N: This is the last episode of Volume/season 1. Hope you guys enjoy it :)

Episode 16

Sun and Blake are having coffee.

"So are you going to tell me since we are in the next episode? Story wise, it's been 2 days. Series wise, it's been a week and you said nothing." Sun said.

"Fuck off." Blake said.

"See, that's why your the one who is dark and deep." Sun said.

"Anyways. Do you know about The White Fang?" Blake said.

"Of course. They are the bad guys and are complete assholes." Sun said.

"I was once a member of The White Fang." Blake said.

"Whaaaaaa?!" Sun said, looking stupid.

"Do you want the long story or the short version?" Blake said.

"Short version please." Sun said.

"Well it's like this: Faunus and Humans want to live in a world together. Humans become assholes and hate on the Faunus. Faunus form a protest and political movement called The White Fang. The White Fang demanded peace and equality. I was part of it when I was a kid. Then: The old leader supposedly stepped down. We get a new leader. He becomes the bad guy that might appear in future episodes. And he, ironically, made The White Fang become the bad guys as a way of peace. I work with some guy named Adam. We hijack a Schnee Company train with dust. Adam becomes an ass, which pisses me off. And I leave him for dead. And that's how I became a good guy." Blake said and drinks her coffee.

"Also, I wear this black bow to hide my cat ears, which twitch at certain and random times. Such as hearing something I like." Blake said.

"Like that blond girl you guys are with, right?" Sun said, referring to Yang, and Blake was silent.

"What about you? What's your story?" Blake said.

"I'm basically a hybrid. I am the representation of Aladdin, The Monkey King, a character from a movie called Journey to the West, and a character from Final Fantasy IX." Sun said.

"So... your gay?" Blake said.

"NO! NOT KUJA! ZIDANE! I AM ZIDANE!" Sun said, over reacting.

Ruby, Weiss, and Yang are looking for Blake.

"Blake! Blake!" Ruby shouted.

"Here Blakey! Here Blake! BLAKE!" Yang shouted.

"Blake! Come on Weiss, you too." Ruby said.

"You do realize that's not going to work, right?" Weiss said.

"Don't be a bitch!" Ruby said.

"Oh come on. We'll never find her at this rate!" Weiss said.

"Ok, your right. But we need something." Ruby said.

"Let's just keep looking before we run into any problems." Yang said.

"Then let's split up and try not to get into any problems." Weiss said.

"Ok, and I'll go with Ruby then." Penny said.

"Ahhh! Penny! Where did you come from?!" Ruby said.

"I just walked like a ninja. Problem?" Penny said smiling like a troll.

"Oh." Ruby said.

"Anyway. We are looking for Blake." Yang said.

"Oh you mean the girl that is a Faunus." Penny said.

"What?! How do you know she's a Faunus?" Ruby said.

"The Cat Ears." Penny said, pointing to her head.

"Cat Ears? The only thing on her head is a black... bow..." Yang said.

Awkward silence, and the tumbleweed passes by.

"Well Shit." Yang said.

"So where did she go?" Penny asked.

"We don't know. She went missing last night." Ruby said.

"Oh My God! We got to find her. I will help because I am your friend Ruby!" Penny said.

"Oh don't worry. We got it under control. We're fine, right guys?" Ruby said and looks over to see Yang and Weiss are gone.

'FUCK! THEY LEFT ME ALONE AGAIN!' Ruby thought and the tumbleweed passes by again.

"So, where do we look?" Penny said.

Sun and Blake are walking, trying to figure out a plan for The White Fang.

"Alright, so what do we do?" Sun said.

"Well we need to figure out where and when The White Fang might be." Blake said.

"I got it! They commit a crime. Crime takes place at night. And they are after someplace that would have a shit-load of dust. So, we find them at a warehouse and take them out, at night." Sun said.

"Too cliche, but accurate enough." Blake said.

"I've seen a lot of DC and Marvel movies." Sun said.

"Seriously?" Blake said.

"Yep. Better than Twilight." Sun said.

"Shut up." Blake said.

Yang and Weiss walk out of a store.

"Well that didn't work. Let's try looking in nightclubs." Yang said. (A/N: Reference to the Yellow Trailer.)

Weiss grew silent.

"So what do you think?" Yang said.

"I don't know. As a tsundere, I got mixed feelings, meaning I don't know what to do when we find her. I just hope she won't hate me." Weiss said.

"She won't hate you, Weiss." Yang said.

Penny and Ruby are walking around.

"So, there's trouble in paradise?" Penny said.

"Uhh, no. We just can't find Blake." Ruby said.

"But if you guys were mad at her, and didn't do anything, then that must mean trouble in paradise, right?" Penny said.

"No that's not it. Blake might not be what we didn't think she is." Ruby said.

"Is she a man?" Penny said.

"NO! Why would you think that?" Ruby said.

"Well you are all yuri girls right? And wouldn't it upset you if you found out one of you is a man the whole time?" Penny said.

"Ok, maybe. But I don't want to think about that. Yuri FTW! So, let's keep looking for Blake." Ruby said.

Blake is at the Schnee Warehouse, waiting for The White Fang to strike. Sun shows up, afterwards.

"So, you see anything." Sun said.

"No. Nothing. We've been here for hours, and still nothing." Blake said.

"Aw. That really sucks. Stolen apple?" Sun said presenting an apple to Blake.

"Really? You just had to steal food?" Blake said.

"Yeah, but didn't you once worked with some guy and stole from a train?" Sun said.

"Fuck off." Blake said.

"Ok, that was too much." Sun said.

The White Fang show up, via airship.

"Oh fuck." Blake said.

"It's them?" Sun said.

"Yep. Stylish uniforms, masks, and a badass emblem. It's The White Fang." Blake said.

"Let's do this!" One of The White Fang members said.

"You hoped it wasn't going to be like this right?" Sun said.

"Yeah. I can't believe it either." Blake said.

"Hey, what's going on?!" Roman Torchwick said.

"Dafaq?!" Blake said.

"Riddle me this: Why are there only a few of us, and no guards around? Because we got so lucky to actually do this heist, so don't screw this up!" Roman said.

"It's The Riddler! I'm going to kill him!" Blake said.

"Wait, what!" Sun said.

Blake goes after Torchwick.

"Listen, just use that cable to take to loot and get out." Roman said to one of the henchmen.

Blake sneaks up behind Torchwick and takes him hostage.

"Ohhhh, for fucks sake!" Roman said.

"Shut up!" Blake said.

The White Fang point their guns and swords at Blake.

"Aannd... it looks like your screwed." Roman said.

"Surprise Bitches!" Blake said upon removing her bow.

"Now listen up. Why are you guys working with this duche?" Blake said and The White Fang looked confused.

"Riddle me this." Roman said, chuckling.

"What?" Blake said.

"What do you call a phrase that means learning and being a witness?" Roman said.

"You better tell me now, because I don't got time for that shit!" Blake said.

The White Fang show up in airships.

"It's 'Curiosity Killed The Cat.'" Roman said. (Insert CSI Music here.)

Roman uses his cane to blow Blake away.

Ruby and Penny hear the blast.

"Oh shit." Ruby said.

Blake dodges all of Roman's shots and runs away.

"She's much better than that other Cat-Bitch." Roman said.

Sun throws a banana peel at Roman.

Roman throws the banana peel off.

"Dafaq?!" Roman said, seeing Sun out of nowhere.

"Big fan, but i want to kick your ass too." Sun said.

The White Fang surround Sun.

"So you must be Kuja from Final Fantasy IX." Roman said.

"IT"S ZIDANE!" Sun said as he fights The White Fang with his staff.

"Not this again." Blake said.

Roman shoots Sun, but Sun blocks the attack and Blake steps in.

"Get out of the way!" Blake said and she fights Roman. (Insert cliche kun-fu fight sounds here.)

Roman knocks down Blake, but Sun steps in.

"Watch this shit, Surprise Mutha Fukka!" Sun said as he reveals his shotgun-nun-chucks.

"Damn, your a lousy shot!" Roman said as he blocks all of Sun's shots at point blank.

Blake hits Roman after. Roman shoots the crane, causing the crate to fall. Sun is at point blank with Roman, but Ruby shouts at them.

"Oi!" Ruby said, reading Crescent Rose.

"Oh Red hood/Super Girl, good to see you again." Roman said.

"Oh My God, is that The Riddler?" Penny said.

"Well, kind of." Ruby said.

Roman shoots Ruby and laughs manically.

"You Bastard!" Penny said.

"Penny! Don't be a hero!" Ruby said.

"Don't worry Ruby. I got dis shit!" Penny said and readies her blades.

Penny fights The White Fang. (Insert cliche kun-fu fight sounds here.)

"Daym." Sun said.

Penny readies to fight the incoming airships.

"Kame-Kame-KAMEHAMEHA!" Penny said after she readies her energy beam and blows up the enemy airships.

"Oh My God, she's a Super Saiyan." Ruby said after seeing her powers.

Roman escapes to his airship.

"Daym. It's 9001. This place is so much better." Roman said and escapes the area.

Later, the police show up, and so does Yang and Weiss. Ruby, Sun, Blake, and Penny see them and talk to them.

"Oh hey guys. There you are. Look, listen up, Blake is not part of The White Fang anymore, she's actually a Faunus with Cat Ears, which is really moe, kind of, so please don't get mad at her." Ruby said, talking too fast.

Blake and Weiss are about to talk.

"Listen Weiss, I'm sorry about everything with tsunderes and The White Fang..." Blake said.

"Blake listen, do you know how long we have been looking for you?" Weiss said.

"No." Blake said.

"Neither do I. But I want to say I'm sorry for acting stupid. I should be more friendly and not be a character majority of people are going to hate. And you know what?" Weiss said and a moment of silence is made.

"I am going to try my best and not be a bitch anymore." Weiss said.

"But I thought you were just-" Blake said.

"Up up up. Now is the start of something else. So next time you go fight on your own. Make sure you come to us, and not a duche." Weiss said referring to Sun.

"Ok. I'm glad." Blake said.

"So... we good?" Ruby said.

"Yeah, we're good." Yang said.

"Woooo! Now that is how to make two conflicted girls become friends!" Ruby said.

Sun walks over to team RWBY.

"Don't get any ideas, you Baka! We are yuri girls!" Weiss said.

"Understood." Sun said.

"Don't worry, he's supposed to be Kuja." Blake said.

"Oh so your gay." Weiss said.

"ZIDANE! I AM ZIDANE! HOW MANY TIMES? You bitch." Sun said to Blake.

"Hey, where's Penny?" Ruby said.

Penny is in her car, with her master.

"You shouldn't have done that." The master said.

"I know. I'm sorry." Penny said. They drive off.

"Don't worry. We'll be getting some more screen time in future episodes and seasons." The master said.

Professor Ozpin has been spectating the whole time and gets a message from Ruby and Yang's Uncle Qrow.

"Queen has pawns." Qrow said.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Ozpin said.

"Sigh, will you just stick to the script?" Qrow said.

-Roll Credits-

"Look, just tell me what you need to tell me." Ozpin said.

"It means: Cinder is on the move. And you call yourself a Team Captain." Qrow said.

"I am a Team Captain. I have to work with two guys that sometimes piss me off because one talks back to me, the other is not all there." Ozpin said.

"Well maybe you push a little too far sometimes." Qrow said.

"Oh, you sound just like Tucker you asshole." Ozpin said.

"Gee, maybe I should have his voice so I can piss you off more huh?" Qrow said.

"But I was seen throughout the first season/volume." Ozpin said.

"Fuck you." Qrow said.

"Not only that, I also have an awsome team here. I got a guy with a badass blunderbuss, a guy who can give me crack and meth whenever, and a hot teacher that is always by my side." Ozpin said.

"Who are you talking to?" Glenda Goodwitch said.

"Speaking of which, I am talking to Qrow. And telling him how awsome I am." Ozpin said.

"You can't even do anything but just walk with a cane and drink bottomless coffee." Qrow said.

"Not to mention almost get teenagers killed and make some pairings become canon." Glenda Goodwitch said.

"He also tries to act like The Wizard of Oz and consider himself the creator of the show." Qrow said.

"Okaaaaaaaaay we got to go now so I'll see you in the next season/volume ok?"

"Hey wait, what about Cinder?" Qrow said.

"Sorry, but next time. Bye." Ozpin said and disconnects the conversation.

"So Glenda, you want to make out?" Ozpin said.

"... Yes!" Glenda Goodwitch said.

-End Credits-

"MEANWHILE, AT THE LEGION OF DOOM!" Said the Narrator Voice.

"I said SHUT UP!" Roman Torchwick said as he returns to his hideout.

"Talking to Narrators again, Roman?" Cinder said as she walks in.

"Yeah, you caught me. So what now." Roman said.

"Like most first seasons that end, and some second seasons. The story begins for real." Cinder said. They get ready.

-End-

A/N: Well, that's it for the first season/volume. Now all there's left to do is wait for the next season/volume of RWBY, which is coming closer. I hope you guys enjoyed the Abridged series and I hope to make more as the episodes go by when they come out and start. Otherwise, I will make more when the next season/volume starts either during the time of it airing on Rooster Teeth, or after the whole thing. Plus I will need some more ideas for the newer episodes, so please fill free to PM me if you guys come up with some. Anyways, thanks again, Review and stuff, and see you guys when RWBY starts. Thanks :)


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